Thank you Joel for allowing me to post my revision of your poem in my blog.

By the way, Joel Josol is one of the members of pinoypoets yahoo group. He posted several revisions of his poem in the pinoypoets mailing list. It reminded me of "A Passionate Patience" which is a collection of essays where renowned poets discuss how they create their poems. I had fun going through his revisions.

Here's my own version of Echo...

Echo
as revised by Gisela, inspired by Joel Josol's Echo

I remain seated.
The echo of your footsteps
is behind me.

The evening wind whispers
and hums in my ear.
Sigh!

A bucket of water is poured
over the flame that is still there.
I am left with the crackle of embers.

i'm very blessed

I can't even count the reasons why I'm very blessed. I can mention a few.

• I was in a car crash recently and I lived, we all lived. No one was hurt and we didn't hurt anyone.
• My family loves me even when they are a pain sometimes.
• I have constant communication with most of my friends and of course I know those I barely talk to are with me in spirit. (I hope all of you are doing well.)
• I have work and is doing well. (I just hope my QA scores will get better).
• Lots of taho vendors pass by my street and in the corner there's a barbeque stand, carinderias are everywhere, and there's an array food peddled here as well.
• I still have a roof over my head.
• I believe I have a good life ahead.

But I go through what every one goes through, hurdles and bumps along the way. I learned my little nephew was in the hospital recently but they told me he's fine now. It really is hard when someone in the family get sick. I had to be called rude and was called names by frustrated Americans who couldn't pay their debts. This is part of the job but it gets to you sometimes, but all you can do is laugh it off and don't mind it. I am unable to visit a friend who I planned and promised to visit several times.

And there are those rare times someone will say, "...Ayaw ko na. Every turn I see proof that you are unstable, needy, and creepy. Someone will take care of you, and I am not it. Lose my number, I mean it..." Mckee, believe me when I say I don't need you. I'm not asking you to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I'm a grown woman. Should I ever need any comfort or anything my family and some of my good friends are there.

I want to literally burn all my memories of you but then I read on my diary something you told me, "I wouldn't want to let you inside my wall because I fear that you might not like what you see. I don't want to lose you," I just can't bring myself to do it.

You know what? I also don't want you in my life. I can't help it when every turn I'm reminded of you. It wasn't my doing when suddenly I was in the same company and account as your sister, nor was it my doing when suddenly a friend of yours from work was my dormmate. Believe me when I say, I want to forget you and think you don't exist.

But even if I'm hurting right now, I'd still like to let you know, I believe I'm very blessed.

project art

Thanks to blogging, I get myself to write every now and then. However, that's not the only thing that I want to do. Call me ambitious but I love art so much I want to practice lots of it and not just concentrate on one. Yes I've heard about the quote, "Jack of all trades, master of none," but I can't help but love them all.

My love for art has just been revived while I was talking to an 18 year old architecture student from Davao in ateneo dalnet. I showed him a drawing I made more than 5 years ago. He liked it and told me "pasado!" Plus I saw a subscription from Mark Crilley when I opened my youtube subscription again. It made me want to get my pencil and draw.





I posted this on my wall a few months ago... or was it a year already. I can't remember. Did I follow it? Nah. I'm a lazy dreamer. But I'm hard on myself. Talk about lots... Maybe I could convert the week here to months but then again why not try it out if I could do it. I'm very good at planning out but I fail at implementation. Who knows I might be able to do all those!

A friend also gave me the site for a graphic art contest online named Good50x70. The deadline for submission is on April 1, 2009. Join in! Let's all fill our life with art!

Procrastination at Its Best

I recently touched base with my high school friends. Memories of school flooded me. I love school. I loved it so much it took me 10 years to get a degree.

I graduated from high school back in March 1997. I only got my first degree, Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing on March 2007.

I started college at the age of fifteen. I studied Bachelor of Science in Accountancy at Far Eastern University (FEU). I breezed through college and was a member of the Honor Class and the Honor Society. It helped that my parents were very supportive with school plus my mom's an educator.

Education is really a big thing in the family that is why it was painful for them when I decided not to take the final exam in three subjects because my university knowingly implemented a curriculum which was only approved by the Commission on Education when we were already in third year. The curriculum was retroactively applied. This is not permitted by law.

We sued FEU. We won in the lower court last September 2002. FEU filed an appeal and until now there's no decision from the Court of Appeal.

Life had to continue. After reviewing for a year for the board exam, I finally decided to enroll in another school. I applied in UP Diliman. Luckily, I passed the talent exam for Creative Writing even if I was 45 minutes late and only had 45 minutes to take the exam. It was a blessing in disguise. It wasn't easy starting college again in a new school at the age of 21.

These years were the darkest in my life. I hope and wish that this will remain so. It wasn't easy. Zillions of times I felt regretful of the decision I made but bounced back again. It took me four years to finish the course. It was grueling.

However, it was sweet. I felt I was the happiest and luckiest of all among all the graduates who walked that stage.

Mattie

Hi Mattie!

Tita na ako!

My nephew Ralph Matthew was born yesterday February 7, 2009 at around 9:17 pm...

***
Mattie,

I can't wait to see you!!!

-love Tita

6 doctors in a week!

I've seen six doctors in a week.

1. Family Med Doctor from Intellicare advised me it was vertigo and prescribed betahistine. She told me to check with an EENT. (January 30, 2009)

2. EENT Doctor at Makati Med told me that my ear drums were fine. It's just diet, lifestyle, and stress. (February 2, 2009)

3. ER Doctor at Makat Med just gave me meds and asked me to continue with betahistine. He advised me to see a neurologist because I had head trauma when I was a kid, it was my second attack and my ears were fine, and i was under medication but it still had the symptoms. (February 4, 2009 close to midnight)

4. EENT Doctor from UST asked me to do several tests. He changed my medicine to stugeron and prescribed vitamins. I will go back to him once the test results are in. (February 6, 2009)

(Tests were scheduled for February 16, 2009.)

5. Optha Doctor from UST advised me my eye pressure was ok. I had 20/70 without glasses but 20/20 with glasses. Nothing wrong with my eyes. (February 6, 2009)

6. Neurologist Doctor from St. Lukes told me that the medicine the second EENT doctor gave me was good and the tests too. He asked me to do the test and come back to him if the EENT doctor has tested me negative for peripheral vertigo. (February 6, 2009)

(He requested the tests too and I checked with St. Lukes if theirs were faster. I was scheduled for tests this coming February 10, 2009, Tuesday.)

*sighs* I was so tired last Friday...