Friendship

I am blessed because I have many friends. However, a few times my Mom has warned me not to get too caught up in my friends' problems. I usually find myself along the sidelines or worse in the middle of things, aiding them and helping them out.

There was once when a friend was so broken because of her boyfriend (they are back together and doing great) just in case you're wondering. She was so devastated so I had to find time to travel to her home place, take her out, get her message across her boyfriend, get his message across to her, make a point to always talk to her... you name it! It wasn't the first time that this happened but it was this one that I was very involved. I kept telling other friends, when will I worry about my own love life? I have to stop worrying about other people's love lives.

A friend was abused by her live-in partner and I had to rescue her and her kids out of the guy's home. She is doing quiet well if you'd like to know. She has separated from that guy since however the kids are with the guy because she is working abroad. She can't trust her own family to take care of her kids. The guy's family was very willing to take them in anyways. I just hope that they are taking good care of them. She's in love with someone else however the guy is married although separated that is why she broke up with him when she finally realized that she's placing herself in a very very bad situation.

Another friend is undergoing major depression and is short of going crazy. Yes a guy is again involved, actually there's two of them: one who was an ex who committed suicide; and one who was a former suitor who had a change of heart. But that is not all, part of her depression is caused by not passing the bar exam twice. This one is a hard one. I actually don't know what to do but be there for her as much as I can.

I value friendship. 'Tis one of the important things in life. To all my friends, I love you guys. You mean a lot to me.

I Matter

You pass me by and you don't even care

You wouldn't even pick me up

You wouldn't stoop that low

People who'll see

Might think you're desperate

I do not matter

Now you're riding the jeepney

You open your purse

You should have picked me up
You have the driver a bill instead

I matter a little

You saw me again the next day

You still didn't pick me up

Someone slashed your bag

And stole your wallet and more

Will I matter?

But you found your purse

And count the clinking coins

You're one peso short

You gave out a greater sigh

Now, I matter

Lost

I just turned 29 recently and I had a blast in Palawan. I went there alone and I believe I'm going to do that again in the future. However, Dona was right, it can get lonely travelling alone. But you do accomplish much and I was not literally alone. I was with a vanful of tourmates. I got to meet a lot of people during my tours.

I am still single and the one that I love just told me yesterday that he is not going to leave his ex. He was planning to do so since August of 2009. He told me it just happened. He decided to stay last night. He's easily swayed and he's weak. I told him Princess is really his kryptonite but he corrected me and told me it's Mona, his bestfriend since college. He said that he loves her still. He has loved her for 11 years now. He never gave up until the 9th year. She's in Australia. He's in Singapore. I told him to go see her within the year perhaps. I told him to not come and see me anymore and save that up for his trip to Australia instead. Talking to him about his great love for Princess was devastating and to hear him talk about Mona was more devastating. How come I am unable to stir this kind of love on a man?

I let him go. I have stopped believing in Keech and I since yesterday. I know I was fooling myself all these years. What's the point right? He will never see things the way I do which is really sad for me at least. The future is bleak. I don't even know what tomorrow brings. It's not even gray. It's just pitch black and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I typed in "What do I do now?" in Google. Several websites came up when I hit enter. I closed my eyes and highlighted one. Clicked that website and choose to close my eyes and pick three words an they were: a, weblog, updated; in that order. And so here I am updating my blog which I haven't done in a long while. I believe I will choose my path using this method for now. And let life take me where it takes me for I'm lost.