Saturday, March 5, 2011


I just turned 29 recently and I had a blast in Palawan. I went there alone and I believe I'm going to do that again in the future. However, Dona was right, it can get lonely travelling alone. But you do accomplish much and I was not literally alone. I was with a vanful of tourmates. I got to meet a lot of people during my tours.

I am still single and the one that I love just told me yesterday that he is not going to leave his ex. He was planning to do so since August of 2009. He told me it just happened. He decided to stay last night. He's easily swayed and he's weak. I told him Princess is really his kryptonite but he corrected me and told me it's Mona, his bestfriend since college. He said that he loves her still. He has loved her for 11 years now. He never gave up until the 9th year. She's in Australia. He's in Singapore. I told him to go see her within the year perhaps. I told him to not come and see me anymore and save that up for his trip to Australia instead. Talking to him about his great love for Princess was devastating and to hear him talk about Mona was more devastating. How come I am unable to stir this kind of love on a man?

I let him go. I have stopped believing in Keech and I since yesterday. I know I was fooling myself all these years. What's the point right? He will never see things the way I do which is really sad for me at least. The future is bleak. I don't even know what tomorrow brings. It's not even gray. It's just pitch black and I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I typed in "What do I do now?" in Google. Several websites came up when I hit enter. I closed my eyes and highlighted one. Clicked that website and choose to close my eyes and pick three words an they were: a, weblog, updated; in that order. And so here I am updating my blog which I haven't done in a long while. I believe I will choose my path using this method for now. And let life take me where it takes me for I'm lost.

1 comment:

  1. So sad, but do not despair - you will find your soul mate one day - maybe soon. Better to be sure than sorry. I think you are strong and smart and will succeed. Remember, many people love you!